Can we be happy with being Imperfectly Perfect?
As we all know 2020 was a year for the books. For me the year started with the most amazing blessing, my son was born January 10th and in the most dramatic and amazing way and completely changed my life. After 6 weeks I went back to work in the hospitality industry and experienced the heartbreak of leaving your heart with someone else while going back to work. However, at the time I didn’t know that it would only be two weeks before the world as we knew it would shut down. The hotel I was working at closed and my position was furloughed. And, although I felt the greatest relief and blessing for the extra time with my son, the mystery of what is going to happen was always in the back of mind.
My furlough eventually ended and my position was terminated. When they did hire for a similar position again, neither my boss or manager called me to come back. My coworkers called me, they told me to apply and come back and told me how much they missed me. I heard nothing from my boss. If you worked for someone for 7 years of your life and they didn’t call you to tell you a position is open, that can’t be good right? The spiral it took me down was only the beginning. Not only did I let that mean that I was horrible at my job, but it made me question so many parts of who I was. You see, up until that point, my career had taken space as my main identity, it’s who I was down to my core. I loved my career, I was proud of it, I was good at it, I worked hard to get where I was and I truly loved going into work every day.
And to speak to that, there were many people who reached out to me for hotel discounts that I have not heard one word from since I left…what does that say? I was worth knowing because I could get you a discount on your hotel room but now not so much?
The thought that I allowed to overrun and play on repeat in my mind about the entire situation……
I am not enough.
The thing about thoughts – they can control your life. And whether you believe something is good or bad, your brain will find evidence as to why that’s true.
So that was the beginning of my brain finding evidence as to why I was a piece of shit and let me tell you there were so many ways. Friendships changing, failed businesses, my past mistakes, my toxic marriage, how I deal with death, making less money, working too much, not showing up for Bentley as I wanted, missing out on events, no longer being invited to events, exhaustion, not to mention hormones?!
These last couple years have been a mix of two steps forward, three steps back. There have been good, exciting and happy times and also days it was hard to get out of bed. I am loved and for those people who choose to stand by me and stay through all my life’s multiple plot twists – I know you are my people and I appreciate you more than I can ever say.
Here are some ways and tools I used as I started to change my life for the better:
Focus on positivity: I need to keep the positive thoughts in my head at all times….podcasts, books, courses, music. (I am creating a favorite things list which will have more details on these that have helped me the most…coming soon.)
Be Intentional: I have learned that the only way I can be successful is if I’m intentional with my thoughts and with my actions each and every day. I created a journal that really has helped with keeping my goals in the forefront and my mind on what I need to accomplish that day. If you want to check it out, I’ll link it here. It is a game changer and if you order one for yourself I would really love to hear your feedback.
Energy Healing: I have studied Sound Healing and became an Expert Level Sound Healer. I use crystal singing bowls and turing forks paired with meditation to work with clients on a deeper level of emotional healing and energy work. You can book a session here if you are interested.
Vibration: While learning energy healing I really started to focus on vibration and frequency and what energy you put out is what you attract – this tool in itself is such a great way to change and improve how you show up. Here is a graphic showing what I mean. Think of how you feel on a given day. Now know that you can only attract energy to you at that level or lower, you will not attract a higher frequency to you from where you are focusing. Also, I added money to my list as you can see below, because if you want to bring more money into your life you need to make sure you are at least at Courage 200 Hz. More to come on this.
Self Acceptance and Being Imperfectly Perfect: The most important is really taking a look inward. Learning to accept that where I am is exactly where I need to be. I learned how compassion frees you, heals you, and leads you to radical contentment through self acceptance. Basically learning that I am imperfectly perfect and that is perfectly okay. I have journaled, I have done the mirror work, I have cried, I have learned that my self worth is my ceiling and that my life will never change if I go through each day thinking I’m a piece of crap and being an asshole to myself. Easy to hear but so much harder to put into practice. I’m a work in progress and need to remind myself multiple times a day and continue to do the work that I know makes me successful. I have created an Ebook and Workbook that does a deep dive into this. I called it Imperfectly Perfect which I feel encompasses self acceptance at it’s core. Our journey is unique, filled with triumphs, challenges, and everything in between. And at the heart of it all lies a profound truth: You are deserving of boundless self-love. Get your copy HERE.
