I wrote this letter to my Bentley about 2 weeks before he was born. It was such an emotional time, not knowing what to expect. Just wanted to share it with you.
It’s coming up so quickly now…the moment I get to meet you…when you will make me a mom, the moment my life will change forever.
They say that life happens for you, not to you. They say that everything happens for a reason. They say that good things come to those who wait.
I don’t know who “they” are…but I don’t feel I truly believed any of that stuff until recently. I don’t think I truly understood what they meant.
You see, life has been hard at times. Its been a lonely place, it’s been a sad place, it’s challenged me in ways that I didn’t know I would ever understand or get through. Life has looked me in the face and said – just when you think you are happy – think again, you don’t get to be that lucky.
Don’t get me wrong – my life has been wonderful too. There are some amazing people in it that can’t wait to meet you and I am so very grateful for their place in my journey. These people who support me, who have stuck by me, who love me through every wrong decision, and are by my side through every experience.
The truth is this….I would not be days away from meeting you if every single thing in my life didn’t turn out how it has. I would not be doing this on my own if I didn’t go through all of that to get to where I am today.
I am stronger, I have more confidence, I have a better understanding of who I am, and I am more in control of my life at this moment than I ever have been. It has taken me 41 years to get to this point….but I needed the time so I can now be the best mom possible for you.
I’m going to mess up and make mistakes along the way, this I know. But I promise you this – I will always be your number one fan. I will always support you and love you with all that I have. I will be proud of you and be present in your life.
You have taught me so much and we haven’t even met yet. I love you more than anything and I haven’t even seen your face. You are a blessing and a miracle and I am thankful for you every single day.
This time I get to look life in the face and say – I’m now in control, I do get to be happy. And together, we are going to shift this life into exactly what we want it to be. 💙
Believing in you!